When You Changed Your Mind
by Fields of Elysium
Summary: Helga's POV of Hey You're in Love. The highlights of Helga and Brainy's relationship and it's end, Helga moving on.


_And I keep up with our old friends just to ask how you are…You can plan for a change in weather and time but I never planned on you changing your mind… I don't know how to be something you'd miss_ \- Taylor Swift _Last Kiss_

Then: 4th of July Weekend, Sophomore Year

I love these warm July nights, when then sun has said goodnight and the stars litter the country night sky, Brian's parents drove us out for a weekend a family friend or something is having a Fourth of July party tomorrow and has enough room to let us stay with them. I'm lucky my parents never keep track of me if they did I'm sure they'd object to me spending the weekend with my boyfriend…at a strangers house…even though his parents are here, and we'll be in separate rooms.

We lay on a large blanket on the lakebed, watching the stars glistening in the big dark sky, the river's gentle rumble are the strings to the fireflies and crickets' woodwinds, his heartbeat underneath my ear, the brass. I've rarely ever felt as connected to the world and as isolated from humanity, my life line Brian. Tomorrow we'll be running around in the hot summer sun, the sound of freshly opened ice cold Yahoos, children running and laughing, and the smell of hot dogs and burgers on the grill. We'll sit in this very spot tomorrow night and watch the sky get painted by fireworks.

Now: Homecoming Dance, Junior Year

The way Brian keeps looking at me tonight I can't help but feel like the prettiest girl in the room. I had to wear one of Olga's old dresses, my dress was ruined when Miriam spilt her smoothie on it Wednesday. Sheena, being one of Brian's friends and an all-around sweetheart, did me a favor and tailored the dress for me in exchange for help on her English paper; I've gained a reputation as a darn good English tutor. Phoebe's here with Gerald or she's supposed to be, Gerald is somewhere with Arnold looking for his date who seems to have vanished some 20 odd minutes ago. So Phoebe and I dance to whatever Brian plays, they have him and some other student alternate tonight as DJ so they can both spend at least some part of the night dancing. " _Tonight I'm gonna dance for all that we've been through but I don't wanna dance if I'm not dancing with you, tonight I'm gonna dance like you were in this room, but I don't wanna dance if I'm not dancing with you, it was good never looking down, and right there where we stood was holy ground…"_ Phoebe and I sing along to the annoyingly catchy pop tune, if your date is the DJ and your best friend has lost her date in a sea of polyester clad teens than act like an idiot, it's quite therapeutic.

Then: Post Homecoming After Party, Sophomore Year

Brian's hand feels warm and rough, it engulfs my small hand, and somehow he manages to make me feel feminine and dainty. He's walking me home after Rhonda's homecoming party, its mid-October and it's been unseasonably warm, but its almost 2 A.M. so it's bound to be a bit chilly Brian has offered me his jacket. There's something about the smell of a boy's jacket. It's always something so _nice_ about it even if I borrow a sweater from Gerald or a teammates boyfriend it has a distinctive male scent, but with Brian's jacket there is something extra to it, something woodsy and a spice to it as well.

We are lightly pelted with tiny rain drops, a gentle warning from Mother Nature, Luckily we're down the street from Mighty Pete and take shelter there before we're soaked. Waiting for the storm to pass we talk about everything and nothing, confessing, baring our souls to one another. The streetlight hits his face just so that I can see how earnest he is when he says I love you, barley above a whisper next to the heavy rain. I yell it back over the rain just a little too loud, enough to be embarrassing, but my embarrassment dies out when I see the grin on his face despite the shadows of the storm, I'm thankful for the streetlight. We talk until we fall asleep. I wake up to the smell of him at the crack of dawn; my head buried in his chest. He walks me home leaving me with his jacket and he whispers I love you as he kisses me goodbye. I whisper it back as we part. I walk in: Miriam is passed out on the couch, probably one too many smoothies, and Big Bob is nowhere in sight. They didn't even notice their teenage daughter didn't make it home.

Now

The search for Arnold's date has officially ended and so has Brian's time at the turn table. Phoebe and I are getting punch while laughing at Gerald's retelling of Stinky and Sid's prank gone awry. I see Brian go to Arnold as he leaves the booth after talking to the other DJ. It's a little odd but not unusual. I keep those two in my peripheral: there's no shouting, no blood, Arnold looks confused by the end of their rather short conversation and, Brian has a look of relief on his face. He comes over to us and takes me by the hand leading me to the dance floor. There's something about him tonight, he's freer than I ever remember him being. I'd go as far as saying he's the life of the party, showing off his silly and awkward dance moves only to pull me in as I roll my eyes; he's actually taking complements on his DJ skills a rarity in and of itself.

"Brian, tonight has been great despite the really dry chicken I―" His warm lips meet mine and I automatically kiss him back.

"Sorry I couldn't help it."

"I don't know if that habit of kissing me while I'm in the middle of saying something is rude or enduring."

"Why can't it be both?" 

"Both it is then." I can't help but reply with a giggle.

"It's still kinda early you want to get out of here? Go for a walk or something?"

"Sure."

We leave the dance, while we would normally walk arm and arm we don't. I can tell his mind is somewhere else. Sometimes his face is an open book, but recently it's been harder and harder to read. I can tell he wants to tell me something but he's been brushing it off all night, I guess it's just too heavy. He'll let me know whenever he's ready. At least he has the foresight of giving me his jacket on this chilly autumn night.

"I'll take you home." He hasn't looked me in the eye since we left the dance, he just looks straight ahead walking with his hand in his pockets. Even the car ride is filled with silence, I'm tempted to break the rule of not messing with someone else's radio.

I'm debating on whether to kiss him and let him go work out whatever it is on his own or inviting him in and dragging it out of him.

"Helga we need to talk." I freeze, is this where his mind has been all night? Holy cow I'm about to get dumped.

"I think that it's best in the long run if we end this now." This is happening; I'm pretty sure I just looked like an axe murderer for a second. What does he even mean?

"Do you smell that?"

"Smell what?" Cute, he's playing clueless.

"The bull you're giving me, cut that crap out okay? If you're gonna dump me give me a good reason, or an actual reason; not some maybe I should dump you now. Let me know you've been cheating on me, that you're gay, that some random person says they talked to their cousin who saw me doing something, you're moving, you've grown to hate me, something!" If I'm being dumped by a guy who used to stalk me then I want a good reason.

"I didn't want it to come to this but I don't want to be with you anymore." Not a reason.

"Give me a better reason."

"No I don't need any other reason." I do dum-dum, I'm not gonna let this go, I will not be broken up with on homecoming, in Olga's dress, I tried tonight so should he.

"No, but I do."

"Just accept it, I'm breaking up with you." I refuse.

"I'm not letting you break up with me." I want to hit him, I want to hit him like I haven't in years, I'm all too aware of my heavy fist.

"I just did. Helga accept that, accept that I am just as stubborn as you are and we could be out here all night arguing about this. Tell yourself whatever you need to: that I'm insecure, that I'm worried that you'll leave me for Arnold, that I think you're too good for me, whatever you do tell yourself consider it true because it's the only truth that matters. Just know that in ten years, wherever you are, I'll be cheering you on, I'll be telling someone 'I dated that girl. I saw her shine from the time that she was 3 till my death.' I never dreamed that we'd be friends let alone date no matter how short the time. Helga tell yourself I hate you or that you're the love of my life; it doesn't matter, all that matters is you. There's ice cream in the freezer, Yahoo in the fridge, and there should be a pizza delivered soon. I already took care of it and some slasher movies if you want to get distracted." I – he's really trying to take care of me right now? I don't know if I should appreciate the fact he's doing that even now or hate him for walking away from me just like everyone else. Wait he ordered me pizza, jeeze how long has this idiot been planning this? It's clearly not a spur of the moment thing. I can't believe I missed the signs.

"How long have you had this planned?" When did he get to the car door?

"Too long I've been greedy. Before I forget if you want to get back together after college or something I'll drop everything and come running, but not before." What is this guy talking about?

I open my mouth and all that comes out is: "You're a dof you know that?"

"I know." And he drives away cutting off any rebuttal I have before the thoughts can even form in my head.

I open the door and call Phoebe. Pick up, pick up, pick up. "Hello."

"Helga I thought you and Brian would have hit up Rhonda or Lorenzo's after party."

"He dumped me Phoebe."

"What? I'll be right over, go shower, I've got my key I'll let myself in. I'll be there in less than five."

"Thanks." I mutter before hanging up and heading upstairs.

At some point I started crying in the shower, the hot water stinging on my raw cheeks. I dress in my ninja turtles pajamas and I head downstairs where I find Phoebe in her dress with pizza and in hand, the sight of her bringing forth a fresh set of tears.

"Want to talk?"

I shake my head. It's too soon, I don't know what happened myself. "What kind is it?"

"Buffalo chicken." Brian he knew me well. "Let's watch someone get their head chopped off. Do you want to go upstairs and shower, borrow some PJ's?"

"Are you gonna be alright?"

"I'll be fine for twenty minutes." She just gives me a look. "I'll be fine. There are no bridges for me to jump off of in walking distance and I don't want to change in the first place. Trust me I refuse to go out in public wearing pajamas."

"Good to know that your since of humor hasn't been affected. I'll be quick." I look through the movies and decide Hellraiser will do. I grab a few Yahoos and sneak a few spoonfuls of ice cream before Phoebe comes down.

I make it half way through the movie before I break down in tears; out of the corner of my eye I spot the Keats book Brian gave me for my birthday. Phoebe holds me, I must be quite a sight: unkempt hair, crying, and my mouth half full of pizza. When I finally stop sobbing I manage to tell Phoebe what happened, maybe she can make sense of it. "Do you want me to never to talk to him again? I'll do that if you want me to."

Do I want that? No I want real answers.

"No I'm not gonna be that girl that makes everyone take sides. I just want to know why he did it."

"He did it for you."

"Bull, if he did it for me then I would have had a say in it. Don't I get a say in my own life?"

"Yes and no; not if it involves someone else if they want out then you have no say in that, you can't force someone to stay. Unless you want to run the risk of being arrested down the line."

"So no on kidnapping, got it. I still don't get how he did it for me, it feels like he did it for himself."

"I believe he did it for himself now but in the long run it's for you. He wants you to be free of him when you have to make the big choices in life, he doesn't want to sway you one way or another. Breaking up right now is saving him the guilt of doing it down the line and making you choose around him. He's setting you free even though neither of you want that."

"Well that's stupid. I always thought if we did end it would fizzle out, not him cutting us down right in the middle of our relationship."

"It is stupid but maybe he thought you two were getting too serious for you to see things clearly."

"He isn't seeing things clearly. I guess we were as serious as two high schoolers get. I'm afraid he'll forget me. I know it's a ridiculous thought, that the boy who's been in love with me since kindergarten will forget me but I just feel like I have no control and this moment is slipping through my fingers. "

"It seems perfectly natural especially considering everything happened and practically slapped her in the face." Best friends are essential to surviving a break up.

Brian and I don't speak, at least not face to face. Phoebe has become kind of like our moderator; it's nice to hear he's alive. I get more out of Sheena though, they've always been kind of close or as close as one can get to someone like him. She tells me about whatever project he's working on, his parent's wonder how I'm doing and Brian knows how I am surprisingly or unsurprisingly when you think about it. I'm sure he's lurking in the shadows somewhere.

Part of me wants him to move on maybe with someone like Sheena, kind through and through, in our relationship it felt less like a partnership and more like he was my backbone, a hand to hold when I needed it; he deserves a partner. I feel kind of bad that I tutor Sheena mostly because I can keep tabs on him, but I don't think she minds she knows it comforts me. She really is a sweet girl.

Arnold and I have been getting close. Our random runs are no longer random but part of a routine for us, since he no longer needs help in English we take that time to run together, he now runs the sports section since Wolfgang dropped out. We work well together, give and take, and we bicker like it's nobody's business; which it isn't except maybe Phoebe's since we like to argue over which headline works. He even asked me out, we're going ice skating and I can't wait to skate circles around him. I went early to the ice rink but before I could make it I walked past an electronics store with a camera display right up front. I couldn't help myself so I walked in and bought Brian a new lens. I had it wrapped and jogged to his house. Thankfully his mom answered the door, she said they missed me, I told her I missed them and hopefully when Brian and I get over this miss step in our friendship I'll be around.

I make it just a few minutes late, Arnold is waiting with hot chocolate in hand. When I finish he helps me put on my skates. I have a blast skating circles around him. He ends up tripping and I fall with him trying to keep him up and when we finally manage to make it up it begins to snow. I swear that football head works magic.

Maybe I needed to make the first move the day of the new semester Brian comes up to me; we chat, not a real conversation but still it's a step in the right direction. I don't think we'll be as close as we were but it's something and I'm really grateful for that. I have missed my friend. Then again who knows? It could make us better friends in the long run.

Arnold and I get nominated for junior prom king and queen on my birthday. At first I wonder if it's a joke, (did I finally punch the wrong someone) but then I realize that Arnold has softened my image. Stupid football head, next thing you know I'll be getting invitations to people's birthday parties or something. I can't really be mad at him though he's easy to get along with, he's funny, and kind, and caring, smart, athletic, he's basically a giant ball of sunshine, and I love him for it. Wait what was that, did I just think 'I love' Arnold. I don't know if I really love him I mean maybe it's my childhood insecurities coming out, but I don't trust my feelings on Arnold. Part of me is always wondering if I'm just living out some weird fantasy.

I know our relationship is different, I just can't quite pin point it, I know it has something to do with the dynamic, we don't put each other first but we but side by side; I can't really explain it. At prom I knew for sure, I do love him, he's made me more me. A better version of Helga G. Pataki and I would like to think I bring out a better version of him. When we win, oddly enough, I see Brian snapping away using the lens that I got him. He waves and I smile back, he looks content. I spot Arnold walking past him later in the night he says something as he walks by. I'm too far to hear it, but I can tell its starts with a 'P'… I wonder what it is. When Arnold makes his way to me the smile on his face makes me forget to ask, I gladly just live in the moment.

 **Authors Note** : The song that Helga and Phoebe are singing is Holy Ground by Taylor Swift I thought it would it was funny, and the lyrics fit wonderfully.

I'd like to apologize for the wait on this, to be honest it's taken me so long to post it's been written since soon after the first part was written. I sent it to my reader and she was had life get then in the way and when she sent it back to me my life get in the way. Speaking of Victoria thank you for taking a look at this your awesome. So far I plan to write two more parts in this universe hopefully I will have the next one up by the end of the month I've got the first page or so down. Till later everyone.


End file.
